Are we sacrificing style for fashion? We're not in middle school anymore!

Fashion fades, style is eternal.

Coco Chanel

When young girls enter middle school, our culture and their hormones tell them that they need to be in fashion. In other words, they need to wear what everyone else is wearing and look like everyone else. The independent spirits we nurtured since birth are sacrificed on the altar of "fitting in"! Aeropostle, Abercrombie, and Hollister have dominated the middle and high school cloning scene for years. But the sad reality is that during these formative years, our daughters dump their individualism and spend six or more years following the crowd instead of following their own hearts. No wonder, we struggle with our identities as women!

Being fashionable translates to spend more money on what's "in fashion" this season even when it will be "out of fashion" next year! Fashion is trendy and if you're old enough to reflect through history, you laugh at the "fashionable designs" we all had to wear during those years. The 70's were plagued by elephant bell bottoms, micro miniskirts, and platform shoes. The 80's gave way to shoulder pads & puffed sleeves, bright colors, and BIG hair. Kurt Cobain of Nirvana rocked the 90's with Smells Like Teen Spirit and the introduction of Seattle grunge. The designer handbag became the all important accessory in the 2000's.

So if fashion fades away with the decades, what exactly is style? Style is the outer expression of your inner self! It is how YOU do things, regardless of how everyone else does them! The irony is that while teenagers are burying their selves under Hollister t-shirts, we, as grown women, are yearning to liberate and nurture our true selves! And when we do, our self confidence soars and we are empowered to accomplish our hearts' desires! We are happier, more loving, and more fulfilled!

Style is eternal. It is never here today and gone tomorrow. Once discovered and cultivated, your own personal style will be evident in all you wear and all you do! For example, the little black dress is a chic classic that has been in most closets across America since it's introduction by Coco Chanel in 1926. But how you accessorize that LBD will be a reflection of your unique style! A single strand of pearls and pumps...layered necklaces with a jean jacket...a  pashmina with lacy tights...a long zebra print scarf & thigh high boots....it's all about the expression of YOU!

"In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different."

Coco Chanel

So dump fashion and discover what you like to wear, what feels good on you, and what looks good on your body! The purpose of life is to live it...with style! So dedicate yourself to living it in your style... not in someone else's fashion!

Attitude & Image: The Inseparable Duo!

Attitude is the foundation of everything! Therefore, attitude is the foundation of your image!

But what exactly is attitude? Simply put, attitude is the way you dedicate yourself to how you think. Positive attitude is the way you dedicate yourself to how you think. Negative attitude is the way you dedicate yourself to how you think. The definitions are the same!

So what determines whether you have a positive or a negative attitude? Your thoughts! Positive thoughts breed positive attitude. Think positive, speak positive, be positive. Negative thoughts breed negative attitude. Think negative, speak negative, be negative.

"It's your thoughts behind the words you speak that create your attitude." Jeffrey Gitomer

Therefore, it's your thoughts that create your image! And your image is the visual expression of your thoughts to the world!

Personal image is how you look, how you speak, and how you act. And all three are the expression of your attitude or thoughts about yourself.

For now, let's focus on how you look...your personal appearance.

Stop right now and really look at yourself. Do you avoid the mirror because you don't want to see those extra pounds that have been creeping on? Do you need a cut and color but haven't had time to make the appointment? Are your clothes & accessories outdated and frumpy? Do your nails still have garden dirt under them? Or chipped nail polish on top of them? Is your makeup a throw back from the 80's? Are you just too busy managing a job and/or family to spend any time or effort on your personal appearance?

If you answered "yes" to two or more of these questions, you are probably suffering from negative thinking about yourself. Somewhere along the way, your thoughts began to tell you that you are not important enough to warrant the time, attention, and finances needed to update and maintain your personal appearance. Everything everyone else needs takes precedence over you!

If you really listen to your thoughts, you may be able to hear this message. Or the message may be so deeply embedded in your subconscious that you aren't even consciously aware of it playing over and over again in your head.

But remember we've already learned that image is a visual expression of attitude. And attitude is created by thoughts. So if you are neglecting your personal appearance...your thoughts about your own self worth are causing you to do so.

So why does personal image matter?

Image matters because people often make assumptions based on limited information. In their book, Social Psychology, H. Andrew Michener, John D. DeLamater, and Daniel J. Myers explain that when we observe a single physical characteristic or behavior in someone, we tend to assume that person has a number of other qualities, too. For example, someone may be perceived as confident because they have a firm handshake. They may be seen as trustworthy because they make eye contact. They may be judged as capable, professional, successful - even wealthy or intelligent - because they are well dressed. The reverse is also true.

We may not agree with making assumptions based on limited information. We may think it is wrong or shallow. But it is the reality of human interaction.

So how is your personal appearance connected to your happiness and success? Your personal appearance is a statement of how you feel about yourself. And it sends the message about how you expect to be perceived and treated by others.

If your personal appearance says, "I feel negative about myself" others will feel negative about you too! But if your personal appearance says, "I am confident and capable" others will see you as confident and capable!

In conclusion, positive self-talk (your atttitude) about yourself will lead you to take the necessary actions to be more polished in your personal appearance. A more favorable personal image will result in other people treating you with more respect. Being respected will impact the quality of your relationships and create more happiness and success in your life!

So dedicate yourself today to think positively about yourself! Listen to your thoughts and evict any negative ones which are sabotaging your positive attitude. Replace them with positive affirmations about yourself! And take one baby step toward improving your personal image. It may be making that hair appointment or walking a mile after work. Just take one step today and another step tomorrow and one step the next day...and eventually, your thoughts, and your attitude, and your image will be an expression of all the God given wonderment inside of you!

Be cheeky! Be chic! Be confident!
Linda Lee Rahn
http://www.cheekychicconfidence.com/